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Biography

*email me at sarcomical @ gmail dot com.

*scroll down if you have a short attention span to see my List of Loves and Favorite Movies
, but if you want a truly entertaining ride into my psyche...yes, yes, I did the 25 Things About Me meme just like the rest of you.



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i'm melissa.
i started Sarcomical in 2004. it's safe to say that (thank God) i've changed in massive degrees in some ways from when i began. for this reason, when i gave this place a facelift here in good old April 2009, i made the (unexpectedly difficult) decision to go ahead and click that mouse button and deleted everything prior to six months ago (oh, relax, they're still alive in a secure location), aside from a couple of recurring-series categories. i know, right? it was scary to see it all go away. but also? a bit freeing. i wanted not only a new look, but a CLEAN SLATE type of feeling as i said goodbye to some really difficult things from some of those days as well. this also cleared away some of my prior fabulously funny and/or utter depressive genius (heh) of course, but don't worry! if you're new here, you'll still get to find out as much as my old friends, when i put up Vintage Sarcomical posts on a semi-regular basis. you'll get the good stuff. *wink* but as of THIS MOMENT, i start a new journey here. ooh. that sounds deep. ish.

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i love watching movies that make my heart ache, savoring melancholy and holding my solitary moments dear. but of course i also love to laugh and revel in the moment. i have an affection for I Love Lucy episodes and as a child was enamored with Bob Hope and Carol Burnett. my mother always said she found it frustrating that i'd roll on the floor laughing at their jokes but then matter-of-factly admit ignorance when asked if i had any idea what i was laughing at.

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i feel things so very deeply. but then conveniently tuck away in the corners of my head those that trouble me until i feel up to processing them.

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i can be a tad sarcastic. i can't help it, it's natural. i also like to make people laugh. that's how Sarcomical was named.

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i currently have 3 mental-terrorist dogs and 1 arrogant cat. i also have a TALL, funny tech-geek husband of almost 11 years who can appreciate a well-placed "that's what she said" as well as make me a kick-ass breakfast. so far we have no fur-less children, but i have to say that after a long time of peace and happiness with that situation, these next couple of years could be very interesting as we begin to deal with what may be a slightly difficult road toward changing that path. we'll be okay until the time comes, but when it does, i'm pretty sure we'll rock it.

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i can't stand close-minded people. i'm a night person. i hate the word 'mucus'. i must have some sort of depth perception issue, as i am constantly bumping into walls, desks, tables, couches, and doors when i leave and enter rooms. i also trip sometimes when walking and going up (yes, up) and down stairs. people who don't put their carts away in the parking lot annoy me. i have to take a deep breath and brace myself before going on a down escalator. i can sleep through almost anything, but i hate taking naps. feet are disgusting, i don't care who you are (unless you're under 2 years old) - don't touch me with your feet.

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below are some of my favorite things followed by some of the movies i love and cannot be your friend if you don't agree (well i might make an exception, for YOU):

My List of Loves: (constantly and sporadically evolving)
  1. Those big buttery soft mall pretzels (mmm...)
  2. Anything at the M•A•C counter
  3. My Frieling French Press (i make out with it every morning)
  4. My Canon 5D
  5. Ladies with extreme talent
  6. Vanilla milkshakes
  7. Vanity Fair Magazine
  8. THE RUDD! (that's Paul to you)
  9. The Daily Show
  10. Johnny Depp - you are my precious little pet
  11. Any furry animal that won't bite me
  12. Bonfires
  13. Slicing and dicing and making food for others to enjoy
  14. Sleepy moments on the couch with a dog next to my belly
  15. Artist-made jewelry
  16. How I Met Your Mother
  17. Everything about New York City
  18. WoodWick Caramel candles
  19. Making snow angels
  20. Seinfeld (there's a Seinfeld episode to relate to every. single. thing. in life)
  21. Baby Cactus Plants (cacti? i'm obsessed with those tiny ones at Lowe's)
  22. Annie Chun's Korean Kimchi Soup Freshpak Noodle Bowls
  23. The ice cream man (if my husband doesn't run out and get me a toffee bar when I hear the truck I pout)
  24. Magnum, P.I. (rawwrr)
  25. CLASSIC LAYS POTATO CHIPS! (oh god save me from the salt - the bags under my eyes implore you) they're a weakness i avoid as much as possible
  26. DVR - what ever did I do without you?!?
  27. Laughing
  28. At YOU (Just Kidding)
  29. Finding new music
  30. British Actors make me weak
  31. Pretending to work out, planning on working out, etc.
  32. My Mr. Coffee iced tea maker (if you try to take it i'll cut you)
  33. People-watching
  34. Making fun of reality show cast members (The Husband and I religiously watch America's Next Top Model and Big Brother; don't judge us)
  35. Walking on sand
  36. Early Malkovich (see: Dangerous Liaisons); he's my Pretend Wicked Genius Slightly Pervy Boyfriend
  37. Taking time to nourish my artist heart
  38. Saturdays
  39. Christmas
  40. Avocado burritos from La Bamba
  41. Lip balm
  42. Sleeping in (the bed, it is my cocoon)
  43. Twist cones from Dairy Queen
  44. Harry Connick, Jr. (he's just as pretty in person - and I KNOW - i was THIS CLOSE to his butt, AND he hugged me)
  45. Sting (yeah, he's kind of old, but he's still sexaay)
  46. Lucille Ball (she's the QUEEN, and don't try to tell me any different)
  47. Curling up with coffee and a blanket
  48. Presents in tiny little boxes
  49. ANY new restaurant (i love the pleasure of eating and trying new things)
  50. Soup (mmm, mmm, good...AND comforting)
  51. Movies (nothing bloody, PLEASE)

I think you can tell a lot about someone by what movies they like. For example, if you liked Anchorman or Starsky & Hutch I might have to seriously re-evaluate our status. ...Well? What do you think? Can we still be friends? Here are some of mine (in no particular order):

  • Radio Days
  • Becoming Jane
  • The Science of Sleep
  • Once
  • Waitress
  • Emma
  • Manhattan
  • The Prestige
  • Play It Again, Sam
  • In America
  • Ferris Beuller's Day Off
  • The Godfather
  • Bride & Prejudice
  • Divorce, Italian Style
  • Say Anything
  • Garden State
  • Like Water for Chocolate
  • When Harry Met Sally
  • Ma Vie en Rose
  • The Kid (Chaplin)
  • Reality Bites
  • Stick It
  • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
  • What About Bob
  • Juno
  • Sense and Sensibility
  • The Breakfast Club
  • Serendipity
  • White Christmas
  • Under the Tuscan Sun
  • Only You
  • It's a Wonderful Life
  • Office Space
  • Fever Pitch
  • High Fidelity
  • De-Lovely
  • Annie Hall
  • Breakfast at Tiffany's
  • What Lies Beneath
  • Elf
  • Barefoot in the Park