i came. i saw. i ate all your cheese. photographer :: imaginary world traveler :: word guzzler :: coffee grinder :: night owl :: indie listener :: wisecracker. a little sarcastic, a tad comical...Sarcomical.
me: either my water pillow is leaking or someone peed on the bed. him: what?!? me: look! ...that's not pee, right? does it smell like pee? him: uhhhh... ...no? wait, do you think ricky might have peed on the bed? me: not unless he peed under my pillow in a perfect circle. [sad frown face] water pillow has died.
(p.s. yes, water pillow. do not judge. i got it from a chiropractor supply place. it makes my neck feel happy. i have had it for 4 years. BUT ALAS!)
I know THE INFLATABLES are due to appear on neighbors' lawns shortly after, and I'm not mentally prepared for giant ugly plastic snowglobes and Spongebobs and snowmen.
I had a fantasy about being in much better shape by Thanksgiving. pbbbbtt.
FIVE HOUR DRIVE TO IN-LAWS' WITH THREE DOGS IN THE CAR.
I'm still waiting to do that Fall picnic on the museum grounds.
I'm not ready for t-shirt weather to be over in the midwest.
I didn''t set the DVR for the Macy's Parade yet.
I'm going to the stylist to have someone else color my hair for the first time in over a year next Monday, and that only gives me 3 days for emergency recon if necessary.
I don't think I've soaked up enough Autumn to carry me through dreary Winter.
FIVE HOUR DRIVE BACK FROM IN-LAWS' WITH THREE DOGS AND LEFTOVERS AND LIKELY SOME RANDOM ITEM FROM MOTHER-IN-LAW'S CLOSET SHE DOES NOT WANT BUT DECIDED TO GIVE US THAT WE DO NOT ACTUALLY WANT IN THE CAR.
just now, as he sits watching his beloved football game...
him: (frustrated) i wish Joe Montana's kid would play as good as Joe Montana right now. me: (disinterested) hmm. him: i didn't know he played at Notre Dame. did you? me: um, no. why would i know that? him: do you even know who Joe Montana is? me: YES. he was on the Brady Bunch. him: WHAT?!? me: yes, he was on the Brady Bunch. he played catch with Bobby. him: what the...? wow you're weird...um...okay, i did not know that... me: (quick google search to prove i am right) me: oh, wait. it was Joe NAMATH. Joe Namath threw the ball to Bobby.
hmm. well what's the difference between Joe Montana and Joe Namath? him: ...(look of disdain) well...they're two completely different people, i guess that would be the difference, genius. me: whatever.
As I sit here timing the highlights in my just-touched-up hair because of The Mousy, with wait time including an apricot facial scrub followed by a vitamin C mask because of Lizard Face, now ready to put in teeth-whitening strips because ofCoffee Crack, contemplating self-tanner because of The Eternal Pasty, and noticing annoying scratchy barely-there stubble on my frecking-yesterday-shaved legs because of Just BECAUSE IT HATES ME, all while bumping around to cranked Beyonce, Britney, Fergie, and Rihanna for dance distraction (because It's Britney, Bitch) in preparation for the holiday weekend approaching, I am acutely aware of one thing...
...this female gig is one gigantic pain in the ass.
I'm an animal snuggler, Lover of Words and raging introvert who others often confuse for an extrovert. I'm typically caffeinated as a rule, BE IT BY BEAN OR BY LEAF.
This is the year I'll be talking a lot about my journey to grow further as a photographer, artist, music addict, YOGISTA, writer, volunteer, life adventurer, ALMOST-VEGETARIAN, runner, book devourer, knee sock connoisseur and procreator (yes, after 13 years we're finally working on that one, and it may be a more twisty path than we anticipated).
I embrace my inner geek (see: obsession with finding the perfect pen, affection for NERD GLASSES) and accept my irrational fears (see: FEET, rug bugs, outer space). I figure they balance out my super cool musical tastes, good luck in parking lots and long legs.
*Wife to 1, fur mother to 4. Future parent to severely over-photographed children.
also follow me @...
Subscribe to Sarcomical
Add Sarcomical to your feed reader. Just click.
My Recent Twitter Updates
Are you wondering where most of the past 5 years-worth of posts went? I kicked them out (just kidding -read here), but do not fret. I'll be putting up the very best Vintage Sarcomical posts regularly!