A few minutes ago I was in an extremely uncomfortable position. Literally. And no, it wasn't like that so clean it up, kids. When I'm on the computer, sometimes I procrastinate peeing. Like, I wait and I wait because I am so engrossed in something that I...can't...walk...away. So, I had the puppy on my lap. Taking a sweet little nap. Aaaand I had my left leg crossed, ankle over the right knee. Suddenly, I had to pee like no tomorrow. I had been completely, obliviously unaware of it because obviously something on the internet had hypnotized me. I went to move....and oh shit that ankle is so totally asleep. No, not just the ankle, it's all the way up to the knee. Oh crap. And this was an INTENSE sleep, the kind that if you breathe wrong you want to cry until it passes. Those tingly needles that ARE SURELY GOING TO KILL YOU WITH THE MERCILESS STABBING OF MANY MANY MERCILESS POKES THAT ARE OF THE DEVIL. But I really, REALLY had to pee. Umm, sort of potentially a pee my pants issue if I didn't get to the bathroom NOW. And all the while Lucy is laying on my lap looking up at me going "What, you can't let me sleep you loud, annoying and persistently stupid human? Why are you moving?" Meantime, I am trying very hard to concentrate as I am dealing with both the pain of the prickly sleep of death and the bladder implosion that is about to take place. Slow, deep breaths. CONCENTRATE, DAMMIT! FOCUS! PEE OR PAIN, PEE OR PAIN?!? I wanted to get up and run to the bathroom, but as you know this was out of the question. I involuntarily began jiggling, and OH MY GOD.
I did not pee my pants and my leg did wake up and the puppy is back on my lap after yelling at me. Oh, you don't remember that she does THIS?
So anyway, why don't you try your hand at creatively describing the limbs-falling-asleep thing per your own experience? I'll go first:
one morning i woke
both arms flappy and useless
freaked out i admit
OR...
don't touch me at all
don't come close don't move YOU ASS
closer and i'll scream
