Some Things Friday #54: Well Done, Grasshopper. ...Wait. There's A Damned Grasshopper Here? See Ya.

Some Things I Love:

1. The words "marshmallow", "sassafrass", and "palpitate".
   
2. God help me, I love that new Christina Aguilera song, Ain't No Other Man. I figure there's GOT to be less shame in that than liking anything by Jessica Simpson or Beyoncé, so I'm going to fly my Christina-hearting flag proudly, by God.
   
3. Quiet, cool, drizzly afternoons when I have nowhere to be and nothing to do, and I can open up the windows and hear the sound of the windchimes on the porch and tires crackling on the wet pavement in our little cul-de-sac. Today's kind of like that. And I'm a little happy inside that I can feel a touch of Fall in the air.
   
4. Hot Sauce on pizza. I know. But it's the only way I can eat it now. I have to do it. I must. I am powerless against The Wicked Cayenne.
   
5. The new Lime Network. It's gotten me back into yoga (I keep the TV on above my desk every morning and when Yoga Zone comes on, I stop, flop out my mat, and go - there's no excuse not to so it works for me), and the little bits of advice sprinkled throughout the day from Rodney Yee are great.

Some Things I Hate:

1. The words "juicy", "factoid" and "stringent".
   
2. That inevitable moment when the light bulb in your closet goes out. Because it is a PAIN IN THE ASS to get up there and change it, don't you think? I'll sometimes avoid the process for weeks and just get dressed in the dark. Because yes, that' just how lazy this girl is, I'm sorry to break it to you.
   
3. See-Saws. When I was little, I had one too many see-saw partners either get off too fast (causing my poor little ass to slam down onto the ground) or decide to torture me and stay down on the ground holding me up at the top (which, come on you know how I feel about heights). Those were what I'd call BAD EXPERIENCES.
   
4. That my husband, being 6'6", is far too much bigger than me to be able to lend me his clothes. I have this tiny little bit of me that's BITTER that I can't wear any of his tshirts or casually throw on a sweater when I get chilly. Nothing is even "cutely big", either. It always looks instead that I am Alice In Wonderland and I just drank the bottle that said "Drink Me" and have quickly shrunk down 4 sizes.
   
5. Grasshoppers. If you're, say, getting some tomatoes out of your garden and you happen upon one hiding like a sneaky bastard and then it just keeps STARING AT YOU from its wonky eye...you just might feel frozen in your footsteps and want to cry for help. ...Not that I would know, of course.

Some Things I Just Don't Get:

1. People who put wreaths on the grills of their vehicles at Christmastime.
   
2. Ben Affleck as Old Hollywood's Superman? ...Let's just say I have my doubts.
   
3. Do all harpists have to own trailers so they can get their harps to their gigs?
   
4. That there's a whole Skiing Culture out there, full of people who marvel incredulously "You've never been SKIING before?!?" No. I have not. And I have no plans to ski in the future. I'm quite clumsy enough when I walk on packed snow with regular shoes on. I can't imagine the medical emergencies that would be made possible by adding me and skis and snow and SPEED together.
   
5. Clothing with holes where they shouldn't be, i.e. toeless socks, fingerless mittens, crotchless underwear, etc. It all makes me equally uncomfortable.