Warning: The end of this post may scorch your retinas. You have been cautioned. Now proceed.
Some Things I Love:
- Yum. I get to look at Young Jimmy as often as I like and it doesn't seem weird. ...right?
- Bob Hope Christmas specials. Remember those? *sigh* I had such love for him when I was little. Funny men have always been the complete package for me.
- The food, the food, OH MY GOD THE FOOD.
- Stockings! Aren't the most FUN things always in the stockings?
- The Alastair Sim as Scrooge version of A Christmas Carol. The. Best. Hands down. ...Followed closely by the one with The Fonz as Scrooge.
Oh you guys, I KID. About Arthur Fonzarelli, that is. Trust me. I've seen it.
Some Things I Hate:
- I have never been sledding. Or tobogganing. I know, can you believe this?!? Are you sad for me? Or is it not really as fun as I think it is?
- Women wearing stuffed antlers to the mall. I ask you...do you LOOK at yourself in the mirror before you go out into The World like that?
- Lines. Lines. Lines. Beh.
- Beaded, sequined, or otherwise horridly-enhanced sweatshirts, which seem to be oddly widespread and accepted this time of year.
- That at Christmastime, Whitney Houston gets radio airplay. And all I can think of is her in that stupid headband when I hear it. And Good God, why would you ever choose to look like this
when you can look like this?
I certainly hope this new healthy, Bobby-free lifestyle takes this time. Holy crap.
Some Things I Just Don't Get:
- Holy high price for a beefstick and brick of processed cheese, Batman!
- The bitchy old lady who tried to bully me out of my parking spot tonight at Target by approaching the lane from opposite me and turning her blinker on to get into the same spot that I was already sitting, BLINKER CLICKING, waiting for...and not moving until I actually had to veer into the spot before she cut me off. HELLO, I HAVE A SCRATCHY THROAT AND IT IS RAINING AND I AM EXHAUSTED BACK OFF GRANNY. To top it off, she had those stupid Christmas bulb earrings on (I saw as she passed). Now that is just contradictory. Which is it...are you in a ridonculously Christmas-like mood or are you a scroogy old buttface out to be mean to me? HMMM?!?
- Why is it that even the most SNOBALICIOUS of neighborhoods, where you get "friendly reminders" from the homeowner's board to let you know how important it is to bring in your garbage can as soon as possible after the trash man comes, and how to make sure your lawn looks well-cut at all times, it is somehow deemed appropriate and FUN! to put huge inflatable figures of snowmen, bears, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS (I saw one of these in our subdivision tonight, in fact), and more on your lawn at Christmastime? Is Christmas like a hall pass to be tacky? I suppose it must be.
- Why The Husband won't take me out for a late-night game of Stab the Inflatables around the neighborhood. It sounded like fun to ME.
- Is this hot? Did I not get the memo? Should I wear this to the grandparents' house on Christmas Day? I'm so confused right now.
technorati tags: 
