I'm sure that at least by now you have heard the (disturbingly? I mean HELLO) tiny mentions of the asteroid that missed sideswiping Earth by a decidedly UN-funny margin last week. I do realize that in the grand scheme of the universe, perhaps this was not as massively uncommon or unlikely as I like to pretend it is, but bear in mind that this is a girl who starts to verge into anxiety attack territory when she pauses to seriously contemplate the possibility that she could be hanging somewhat upside-down (or at least sideways) from the planet at a given moment.
Oh, yes, you read that right. I can talk myself momentarily out of my faith in gravity.
It's understandable then, no, that I might get a little twitchy when I, say, do the search to find that link up above and in the process come upon animated satellite images of the earth's tilt changing in a fashion and speed I do not find pleasant.
Also not in the cheerful tidings department, did you catch in that first CNN link how the guy indicated that "oh yeah, there are totally official-type people designated to be on top of all of that HURTLING, MONSTROUS, SPACE ARTILLERY" - lots! of people! looking years & decades ahead! - and yet he just happened upon said Not Tiny asteroid LAST WEEK???
I was not comforted by this information.
Oh, and also. Apparently we have been discovering them more and more, nearly 100 each year. (P.S. - for the love of God, do not type "asteroid 2036" into Google unless you really want to dwell on some unsavory material.)
But listen, I'm not here to be an alarmist...as nervous-handkerchief-waving as this entire entry may seem to have been. Despite my uncanny ability to get worked into a fizz over outer space, deep water, suspension bridges, and The Shining, I don't honestly live my life in fear of things. And really...I'm sure this asteroid-careening business has always been this way. We just didn't know about it.
...aaand one more point for Ignorance!





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Oh, sweet heavens and a bag of Cheetos, I'm starting to think this girl would make out with her grandmother in the back seat of a car just to get into another news day. Honestly, I don't want to imply that she doesn't have the right to her nervous breakdown, or that because she is a celebrity she should be more perfect than the rest of us, but I just wish that her people would DO something to shield our eyes from the burning - DEAR GOD MY EYES, THEY ARE MELTING INTO MY FACE. Aren't you all asking the same question I am - How early is too early to get those babies into therapy? 


































































































