Sarcomical

Some Things Friday #20

Some Things Friday! Whoohoo!

Some Things I Love:
1. Sweats, t-shirts, and a hoodie...all day long.
2. Heated seats in my Jetta, baby. My ass and I thank you, Volkswagon Cold Weather Package.
3. Betty Boop. The vixen of the animated world. I can relate, of course. ;)
4. Being married, which means the newly single Brad Pitt won't be able to stalk me like he used to. Gaah, that boy can be so annoying when he's desperate.

Some Things I Hate:
1. When the pimentos escape from the olive in the jar. I hunt and hunt for its mate and try to stick it back in, because hey, who can eat a hollow olive? That's just wrong.
2. My klutziness. Uh-huh. I burned my hand the other day in the oven (this thing looks nasty). The next day I cut my thumb on a can of soup...WHILE I was trying to push the lid down so no one else would get cut by reaching near the trash can. Last night? I rammed my middle finger in the silverware drawer. Today? I was looking at winter coats on sale, had a handful of hangers, switched hands because they were getting heavy, and scraped the skin off my burn. Yeah. I'm a winner. My husband says a day wouldn't be complete if I didn't somehow hurt myself or spill something on myself or break something.
3. Flossing. I know, I know. I'm supposed to be all responsible and adult-like, but I HATE it. Even though it's good for me, I'll go out of my way to NOT do it...like "I'm too tired", "I can't find the floss", "I forgot", and of course the classic "I'll do it tomorrow".
4. That I'm sitting here in the living room where all the Christmas stuff is piled in a corner and the tree is unplugged and pulled away from the wall, but not taken down. What can I say? We're reeeally good at procrastinating. Meet the masters. Don't worry, it's all going into the closet tomorrow.

Some Things I am Confused About:
1. What the heck happened to Teri Polo after Meet the Parents? We just saw Meet the Fockers tonight. She looked like an anorexic transvestite. Ew. Honey, you made me hurt to look at you.
2. How something that smells as disgusting as a pig ear does could make my dogs so happy. Seriously, the odor of those things is worse than ass.
3. The Osbournes. I don't get it. Does someone else get it?
4. Why "Truly Scrumptious", the song from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang ran through my head all day today. Come on, sing it if you know it:
"Truly Scrumptious,
you're truly, truly scrumptious.
Scrumptious as a cherry peach parfait...

When you're smiling
it's so de-licious.
Honest, truly, you're the answer to our wishes.

Truly Scrumptious,
though we may seem presumptious,
never ever ever go away...

Our hearts beat so unruly,
because we love you truly
honest, Truly, we do."

*How sad is it that I remember that? Yet I'll forget something I said 6 minutes ago.

Some Things Friday #19

Aha! The holidays are over and dammit, I will not let the Some Things Friday lists go to pot no matter how busy I feel. SO...Serenity Now! Brace yourselves.

Some Things I Love:
1. Going back to our old Chinese restaurant that delivers AND tastes better since we've been cheating on it with Great Taste chinese,which is way closer to our house but you have to PICK IT UP. Good God in heaven, we're dumbasses. We were deluded by the haze of close proximity, Dragon House, we're sorry. We love you. Mwah. Now toss me another eggroll, hot stuff.
2. Sugar-Free Black Cherry Jell-O. ...oooh baby, it's like a french kiss in a snack cup.
3. Some of my newest additions to the music collection: Rachel Yagamata, San Ilya, Gomez, Gavin DeGraw, and Ryan Cabrera. Yes, Ryan Cabrera. Shut up.
4. Jude Law. I loves me some Jude Law. Mmmm...

Some Things I Hate:
1. Being wrong about the Gazelle Max. Stupid, STUPID! I feel obligated to tell you how that all turned out since I raved about it so much HERE. And since so many people end up here by searching for info on it. Basically, I was in love with it. Until I tried to move up the resistance. To ONE out of THREE levels. And it would barely move. We're talking walking in glue here. Not fun. If I can't at least MOVE, then I'm not really working out, am I? Maybe we got a defective one, but we decided to take ours back and use the money on fun Christmas gifts. Like food. And movies. And music. And more reasons for us to stay at home and not get off the couch and get fat. Yay!
2. Fargo. I saw that for the first time several months ago. ...I always thought that thing was supposed to be some sort of comedy. All I know is I was NOT laughing, and it took me a week to forget about it. Ick. Eww. Please don't talk about it. I'm sensitive.
3. Going weeks without sunshine. Hello? Soul? Are you completely withered or are you just depressed from lack of light? Winter sucks it right out of me.
4. That to this day I am haunted by the fact that I never saw the last episode of "Party of Five". I will never let my husband live that down. He forgot to set the VCR. Oh yeah, remember those? Those asshat machines that could not easily contain a scroll-able list of your favorite shows and movies so that you could compile all your tv watching into one lazy lump of day-long Gilmore Girls and Lost marathons?

Some Things I am Confused About:

Should I consider my cat puking INSIDE one of my favorite and cutest shoes as a personal affront? I'm just wondering.

I'm still trying to figure out the best way to spend the last hour of work that manages to stretch itself out to EONS when I've run out of things to do (most notably? on Fridays). I've tested out meaningless wandering between my office, the bathroom, & the kitchen, responding to emails from you guys, intentionally procrastinating tasks so that I have to rush and make the time go faster at the end, and staring out my window at Mr. Squirrel and watching people go in and out of the Pizza Hut across the street.

Jennifer Garner's judgement. (Helloooo? Earth to Jen - Mr. Poof-a-lot? I mean, I know he used to be the cutest, but now? He's tainted. And now you're tainted. And that makes me sad.)

Why I am Spatially Retarded. By Spatially Retarded, I mean: Virtually unable to process the approach of oncoming objects (walls, tables, counters, drawers, glass shelves, DOWNWARD CEMENT STAIRS, etc.) while walking toward them and thus hitting them/falling down with maximum velocity, creating mass damage to tissue and visually repulsive markings on one's body. Yeah. That's me.