Sarcomical

Some Things Friday #43: Lightly Toasted, Please

Some Things I Love:
1. Clocks. I just love clocks. Give me an unlimited clock budget, and I will fill my entire house with clocks. We have a cuckoo clock my mom gave us when we got married, just like the one in the house where I grew up. Some people are annoyed by them, but really, you just don't hear it after being used to it. Hmm...I wonder how many more times I can put the word "clocks" in this paragraph without your brain getting irritated with saying "clocks" over and over? What a weird word. Cl...oooocks.
2. Being greeted in the bathroom by a nice, fresh, clean and sparkling toilet. Why HELLO, toilet. It's SO nice to make your acquaintance.
3. Steve. Carell. Oh yes, I said it.

4. Best Buy. Right now, anyway. (Normally I CAN'T STAND those jerkholes, especially when you're trying to take something back.) But they sent my computer off almost a month ago (I've been working off a laptop hooked up to my regular screen), which turns out to be UN-FIXABLE! So I get to go on a little shopping spree tomorrow with my store credit for a Brand Spanking Shiny New Computer Brain. My husband is ever so very jealous.
5. Wacky Mac. Oh baby.

Some Things I Hate:
1. Not being able to turn things on and off with my fist like Fonzie.
2. Jenna Elfman and her flipping even HOTTER than before smokin' body. Have you SEEN the girl lately? What the hell is she DOING?!?

3. Garage sales.
4. The word 'turd'.
5. Biting into a marshmallow. (Now that I look at that typed out, I think maybe that's not such a good thing to put right after the word 'turd'.)

Some Things I Just Don't Get:
1. The point of tea cozies. Also...yech.

2. Why Love Monkey was cancelled. What a rip-off. *scowl*
3. That I get search hits EVERY SINGLE GODDAMNED DAY from people typing in "patricia heaton's boobs". Listen up, weirdos. Last year I posted about one of the awards shows, and I think I mentioned her and I think I also mentioned certain other women's boobs looking painfully squished into their dresses. Okay. I'll grant you that. What I want to know is: WHY DO YOU WANT TO SEE THAT?!? What exactly turns you on about her and her Pillows? You know what - don't answer. I don't want to know.
4. What was so great about "Flight Plan"? Pu-lease. I feel misled, Jodie.
5. How The Husband and I could be married for almost 8 years, and he still doesn't know that when he hands me a piece of toast that is dark brown with almost-black edges I will go "ICK" and pout. Seriously, how can he not KNOW me by now?!? I am a LIGHT toaster ONLY. I like a slight hardening of the outer shell of the bread. No singeing, NO BLACK STUFF. (*smooches, honey!*)

Sarcomical Blogmarks 2.24.06

Places to visit today courtesy of me (interesting art):

• Loretta Lux
  amazing. simply and incredibly beautiful. what a lovely way to capture the children that are her subjects. (tags: art photography children)



• Mark Ryden
  so many levels to his artwork...at first you may be surprised by the combination of sweet and macabre/unpleasantness, but there's deepness to it. beautiful technique. (tags: art paintings)



• Paintings by Clifford Bailey
  i love the almost caricature-esque quality of his paintings, but they also have a french vibe. very rich, full of personality, and original.
  (tags: paintings art)


• Mary Ellen Mark Photographs
  brilliant composition in each photo. lovely.
  (tags: art photography black and white)

Half-Week Haiku 39: Brought To You by the Number "4"

The Husband decided it was a good idea to take this picture of me sleeping last week on the couch when I felt like crap. (SEE my naturally down-turny mouth? GAH.) Lucy has always climbed up to me at night to get in my "Nook", as we call it. She's not happy if she's not there. Basically, I SPOON THE DOG. Except now, I have two dogs that like to cuddle (Shiloh does NOT), and only one Nook (what a goddam conundrum), which they fight over (yes, the snarly teeth come out when Ricky tries to steal Lucy's Nook), so what usually happens is that Lucy gets The Nook and Ricky sleeps between my legs. Yes. Shut up. It's more like, I make a "4" with my legs (STOP LAUGHING AT ME - it's my usual sleeping position and I AM NOT WEIRD) and he just HAS to climb in there or he acts all lost and "Where do I go?! Where do I go?!". What can I say? I'm the Fur Whisperer. Then the cat comes and sits his ass right next to my face.

Today's Haiku assignment is this: Tell me about YOUR sleeping habits. Do you snore (*cough*like my husband*cough*)? Toss and turn? Talk in your sleep? Sleep in a weird position? I'll go first.

late to bed am i but once there dead to the world burglar? earthquake? snoooooze.

Update: Oh, and look at how IMPORTANT and POPULAR I think I am sleeping with my cell right by my hand like that? Like anyone calls me except the husband, my mom, and my sister. Who do I think I am, Paris Hilton?

Sarcomical Blogmarks 2.18.06

Places to visit today courtesy of me:

• The Fine Art of Lori Earley
  her art has a unique darkness, but an even greater beauty. it makes you want to keep looking. her technique is haunting.
  (tags: art)


• David Hasselhoff Compendium
  ...continuing with Hoff Hysteria. oh Hoff, how you tease us with your wily smile and chiclet teeth.
  (tags: bored celebrities hasselhoff)



• LEVERS
  argh. frustration. items are dropped into the water and you have to balance them on the hooks. don't understand? well, try it.
  (tags: bored games)

Some Things Friday #42: Little and Random

Some Things I Love:
1.) Irish accents.
2.) Sno-Cones. Especially CHERRY ones. They aren't just for kids, you know.
3.) Sweet little old men who say things like "oh dear" and "my, my".
4.) Flannel.
5.) Antique shops - but not the crappy ones filled with plastic-headed dolls, 1970's decor that people couldn't unload at their garage sales, and dirty jewelry. I like the ones with lots of old photographs and paintings, little glass and ceramic figurines, and pretty oriental vases.

Some Things I Hate:
1.) Underwire...jabbing...into...skin...ARGH.
2.) Glass elevators.
3.) Playing checkers. Unless I am guaranteed to win.
4.) Women with natural rosy glows.
5.) Toads. No, literally...TOADS. Especially when they pee on your hand.

Some Things I Just Don't Get:
1.) Ketchup on eggs. ew.
2.) Who actually likes Howard Stern? WHO?
3.) How very LAME the Opening Ceremonies for the Olympics were tonight.
4.) WHERE has this little stomach pooch come from? GO AWAY.
5.) Valentine's Day Expectations. I hate making a huge deal of that one day. I'd so much rather have great memories with my husband all year than be bombarded with PINK and CHOCOLATE-Y and FRILLY crap on one gushy day. That's just me.

Sarcomical Blogmarks 2.9.06

Places to visit courtesy of me (all about the craftiness I wish I had more of):

• ljc's project page
  she puts me to shame - SHAME, i tell you! okay, i really need to start a project now.
  (tags: crafty)


• SUBLIME STITCHING - Kits and Patterns by Jenny Hart
  i definitely want to try at least ONE of these patterns...not your mother's patterns ;)
  (tags: crafty)


• DIY Network : Home Building, Home Improvement, Hobbies, Crafts, Gardening & Woodworking Projects and Videos : DIY Network
  i definitely could use some of their tips the next few months...
  (tags: diy projects)

Sarcomical Blogmarks 2.4.06

Places to visit today courtesy of me:

• not martha : marble magnets
  a lot of you wanted to know how i made the marble magnets on my refrigerator from this post. this was the page i used to make them.
  (tags: fun crafty)

P.S. Here are the ones I made for my sister for her birthday a couple of years ago. I think it's a cute gift idea. (click to enlarge) It's a picture of a picture, so the quality isn't superb. And also, this was SO TOTALLY one of the last real 'crafty' things I did. Pity. I'm so talented. Right? RIGHT?!?