Sarcomical

Some Things Friday #49: Celebrity Edition

Some People I Love:

1. I admit to the cliché wholeheartedly. I LOVE Lucy. A GENIUS, that woman. And daaaaamn, girl. Who knew you could be so sexaaay?
   
   
2. Come on. Anyone who doesn't love him can exit quietly. If you're not with Jerry you're against us. And then the terrorists will win.
   
   
3. It's because he's Harry. Beautiful, beautiful Harry. And I've loved him for almost 15 years, so it doesn't matter how many mediocre-sounding akward albums he puts out in between the incredible ones. I love, love, LOVE. And p.s. - he smells good. I know because as I keep telling you I hugged him during a FABULOUS moment that I also keep promising to tell you about. Which I will. But not today.
   
   
4. I. Can't. Help. My. Self.
   
   
5. I love that she says "fellow" as in "he's such a nice-looking fellow" and that she's made her looks work for her as she's grown older. And she always seems so freaking polite. It's sweet and refreshing.
   

Some People I Hate (or let's just say have a Strong Distaste for):

1. Do I need to explain ALL THE REASONS WHY?
   
   
2. I liked it better when she WASN'T a slutty over-processed version of herself. And even then...I don't know. But I want her to GO AWAY.
   
   
3. Something about him just says "icky" to me.
   
   
4. I just can't stand this guy.
   
   
5. His mouth. OH MY GOD HIS MOUTH. It is disgusting. I can't look at him. The way he contorts like a circus freak while he's singing....it's hideous. You CANNOT miss clicking on that third pic. (This is John Mayer for those of you who were wondering...)
   

Some People I Just Don't Get:

1. She is entirely and creepily too mature for her age. And how is it that this child can scare the SHIT out of me in a movie? Talented, for sure, but a little strange. And why the hell does she have to look so happy on that freak's shoulders? ICK.
   
   
2. The magic comes, the magic goes. One decade brilliant, another flat and boring as hell. Ah Woody, you are a mystery.
   
   
3. When you can look as good as she seems to be able to, and, you know, FUNCTION IN SOCIETY and whatnot, I just don't get it...
   
   
4. How does she still look this good? HOW?!? I want to know what she does so I can start doing it IMMEDIATELY.
   
   
5. I'm scared of Burt's new face.
   

Some Things Friday #48: Yes, I Said "Oh Snap"

Some Things I Love:

1. Double-dipping. Don't invite me to your house and present me with chips and salsa if you're going to be an ass about the double-dipping. I. Can't. Help. My. Self.
   
2. Palm trees. Oh God, I need a vacation. Anyone know of any good, inexpensive houses to stay in somewhere a bit more, um, TROPICAL than goddam Indiana? Anyone? ...Anyone?
   
3. The Softies. I can listen to their CD's for hours. Just a real nice sort of jangle feel, mellow and easy. Check out their website, and also listen to some of their music on Amazon here.
   
   
4. Bella il Fiore's cute little patent leather Eye Essentials Kit. I love it, love it, LOVE IT. Especially for keeping handy when I want to obsessively pluck my eyebrows with the aid of the perfect-sized mirror inside. Consider that my product recommendation to you for the week.
   
   
5. The Friday Sort-of-a-Hottie, Michael Chiarello. Okay, so YES, he is a chef on the Food Network. So he's not the MOST masculine. Perhaps I've been watching waaaaay too much Food Network ever since I've gotten on my cooking kick, but I just LOVE the way he describes his food. ...Something about a man who can make a reduction and always knows what wine to serve with dinner...he can come cook at my house anytime. *mini-rawr*
   
   

Some Things I Hate:

1. Itchy bras.
   
2. Neighbor boys who think they are ALL KINDS OF AWESOME for riding their little scooters *eeeeeeee* up and down and up and down and UP AND OH MY GOD DOWN the cul-de-sac *eeeeeeeee* and the THREE DOGS in my house go hella crazy and smoosh their noses on the glass of the windows and front door and YELP TO HIGH HEAVEN until said boys decide they're done being awesome. *eeeeeeee* (that's the sound I have to hear all afternoon oh help me)
   
3. Those stupid singing fish plaques. ACK. Do you hate them too? Well, look what I found! (Probably unsafe for work, unless you've got headphones plugged into your speakers - hah!) Much use of a word I don't like, but it captures the hate.
   
4. Deodorant marks on my t-shirt. Freakingfrackingdammit. That is SO unsexy.
   
5. Feet. This has been established here before. Don't make me look at your feet, don't touch me with your feet, don't spend an uncomfortable amount of time looking at mine. But MommaK at Petroville says we all need to do a foot-check to make sure ours are ready for spring. Luckily, I just did a home pedicure last night. Sort of. And (OH GOD, HOLD ME), here are my poor toes. Please, just glance and look away. I'm very uncomfortable with this.
   
   

Some Things I Just Don't Get:

1. People who say "Oh, I never watched Seinfeld", especially when you drop a line that pretty much EVERYONE on the planet should catch the reference of. Like..."These pretzels are making me THIRSTY!" How could you never ever EVER watch Seinfeld? I am perplexed. And irritated. Someone pat me on the back.
   
2. Why does Tom Cruise have the right to reproduce when so many well-deserving people aren't able to? WHY?!? The universe, it is askew I tell you. ASKEW!
   
3. Why I have to stare at the sweaty crotch-al area of that Drill Sargeant Bitch Delores Munoz in my Killer Butt DVD while I'm working out. Could she have gone with the black pants instead of the brown? Yech. But damn if that isn't one of the best workouts EVER. She does NOT baby you - no little breaks, no "You can do it!". She instead tells you to "Carve it!", "Create your own energy!", "Dig deep!" Good God I HATE her! But she helps me, so I have to obey.
   
   
4. Eggplants. I can't ever like them. Is there something I'm missing? All those seeds, and...GAH.
   
5. Why I can't stop cutting my hair. No, I'm not kidding. This time it's gone. ALL GONE. I like to think of it as a self-cleansing, a starting over so to speak. OH SNAP. Pictures forthcoming.
   

Sarcomical Blogmarks 4.16.06

Places to visit today courtesy of Yours Truly:

• Schatz / Ornstein Studio - Portfolio
  fabulously inventive and visionary photos. wonderful. especially loving the underwater shots. they're so other-worldly. great capturing of the beauty of the body througout the portfolio.
  (tags: photography)


• OLAF BLECKER : PHOTOGRAPHER
  oh my good lord. my favorite thing about his photos is the way he makes the skin glow in many of them like in old 30's and 40's starlet photos. but he's also got the ability to make things look so raw and alive. simply an amazing talent.
  (tags: photography)


• FARROKH CHOTHIA PHOTOGRAPHY
  i love the ethereal style of these photos. especially the portaits in the personal section. lovely.
  (tags: photography)



• H A Y D E N
  i'm really new to hayden but am so far loving the Skyscraper National Park album. mellow but an intense voice and great lyrics.
  (tags: music)


• Denison Witmer
  i love the lyrical quality of his voice. if you haven't heard of him click around on the discography page of his site for some ear candy. ;)
  (tags: music)

Half-Week Haiku 42: How You Take Your Dog

People can be very impassioned about what condiments are PROPER AND CORRECT to put on a hot dog. (Oh, wait, is it just me?) I think I even mentioned the subject once before (because obviously it is so very important to me). So I am deeming the topic quite Haiku-worthy, indeed. I shall go first:

mustard alone rocks
husband uses mayonnaise
that's just sick and wrong

Now YOU.

Some Things Friday #47: Just Watch How I GET IN YOUR HEAD at The End

Some Things I Love:
1. Three- or four-day-old popcorn. Oh yes. That stuff is THE SHIT. My sister feels the same way. Do you think it's genetic? Hrrmmm... Something about that stale yumminess. Sometimes, I even make popcorn with the express intention of putting it in a bag for a week so I can enjoy it later.
2. Friday Hottie Ewan McGregor. When his hair's not doing that weird nerdy combover thing. Let me demonstrate:

No Ewan. Bad. Bad, bad, bad. Shame.

...now THAT'S better.

3. Hebrew National hot dogs. I know, I know! The saturated fat! (It's staring right at me on that label!) But every once in a while I. Can't. Help. My. Self.
4. Mind of Mencia has started a new season. The Husband and I bust a gut every. single. time we watch. I love him. I mean, sure some of his subject matter is a bit controversial. But he's being HONEST about racial and social issues. And the boy is SMART as hell. Need to understand why we laugh so hard? Here's your chance - prepare your eyes.
5. Korres Skin Milk. In Bitter Almond and Vanilla Cinnamon. Consider that my product plug for you for the week. Mmmm...

Some Things I Hate:
1. The rest of the cake that is downstairs. YOU EVIL BITCH CAKE. With your fluffy whipped cream cheese icing and your carrot-y, spicy goodness. You taunt me and my PMS-ridden soul. Damn you.
2. Excessive Huggers. Get. Away. From. Me.
3. Crazy-Off-Her-Ass Jade on ANTM. Holy crap. Somebody call the Psycho Police, because there is a serious offender here. Holy crap. If you don't watch, then excuse me while I indulge in my disgust.

4. Waking up to The Husband saying "Hey...Ricky. What are you chewing? WHAT is in your mouth?!? ...Uhh, honey? Ricky was chewing one of his teeth." That's right. It fell out. And then the Nasty Puppy started playing with it. BLECCCHHH!
5. That Antonio Banderas won't go away.

Some Things I Just Don't Get:
1. Why does it make me feel better to SCREAM LIKE A BANSHEE while I step on a spider? I can't just PUT THE PAPER TOWEL ON IT, I have to SQUEAL while I do it. I like to think it gives me courage.
2. Oh Sweet Baby Jesus, someone PLEASE put me out of my misery already and just TELL ME what's going on with LOST. At the end of this week's episode I had a freakout. "WHAT?!? What the hell is going on?!? OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. What does this MEAN?!?" I have since then formed my theory, but it's too long to go into now. If you want to know what it is, you'll have to ask. But you were freaking out too, right?
3. Listen, I am just as sick of her as all of you are. But what the hell HASN'T happened to poor ill-clothed often-incoherent Paula Abdul? Now this? Does this girl have bad karma or what? I guess someone should Straight Up Now Tell Her that we are OVER her. And then she just needs to go home and cuddle up in some pajamas and stay there for a little while.
4. Why? WHY?!? I think I'm going to be sick.
5. Oh my gosh. I COULD NOT get that old "'Tato Skins" jingle to stop running through my head ALL DAY yesterday! Well, now I pass the torch to you. You won't be able to withstand its power. Just try. You'll be emailing me begging for it to stop.

Sarcomical Blogmarks 4.04.06

Places to visit today courtesy of me:

• Enlightened Papers . Home
  i WANT one! these handcrafted paper lamps are so incredibly cute and whimsical.
  (tags: ecommerce decor)


• Serena Barton.com . . . . The Paintings and Artwork of Serena Barton
  i'm not sure what it is about her art that i find so beautiful and compelling; perhaps the old-world look. sometimes you don't really need a reason...
  (tags: art paintings)


• BlueHour Blog
  there are some wonderful images here, mostly focusing on the quiet power of natural surroundings.
  (tags: art photography)