Sarcomical

You mean...like a George Foreman grill?

I radiate heat when I wake up in the mornings.

Pulsating, haze-wavy heat.

In fact, I could quite possibly melt your hypothetical ice-encased body (resulting from your hypothetical misguided time machine excursion into the Pleistocene Ice Age followed by the fortuitous hypothetical Star Trekian beam thrusting you back into the present and materializing you straight into my bed) with approximately 15.3 seconds of indirect contact.

During most given days, I feel as if I'm running about 10 degrees colder than any actual environment I'm in. I shiver. I chatter. I say things like "no, seriously, feel my nose!", which my husband becomes increasingly annoyed with in direct proportion to the rate at which I seem to believe that HE NEEDS TO FEEL HOW COLD I AM RIGHT NOW! I stash sweaters in every room at easy arm's reach. I've even sunk so low as to resort to using the ever-avoided vacuum to remind my blood to extend itself to the very ends of my body, or OH YEAH there's always working out to get things thawed out. (And yes, I would actually rather do a cringeworthy workout than vacuum.)

...and yet.

The Husband believes he could possibly cook eggs on my body for breakfast while I'm sleeping.

I have a theory that I am hibernating like a bear every night.

However if this is true, shouldn't that mean I'd be burning a hell of a lot of fat in bed? Hmm...Sleep As Toning Technique...I could get behind that movement, if only it appeared to be a working practice.

Someone get on that.

Blonde, Brunette, Redhead...

...one of my favorites from a recent shoot I just finished editing; might trickle a few more in later. click to enlarge

more tightly than you ever bound me

this was the moment of Yes
the day of Not Afraid

time hung high for quieting the mind
and becoming enveloped in now

will this ache define you
or will you redefine it?
she was never sure how to answer that question
but most often forgot to pose it

the bruising
the bruising and pulping of her heart
she wanted to gently soak it in warm milk
and rub ointment on the blackened shadows

then shoot it off into space

it was easier to be fearful of the imaginary goblins of the future
than confront the apparitions of the present
who had decided to linger for tea
and swish around in front of the archways

casting inverted darkness on the bare floor

with a broom one cannot swat them away
pests can be eliminated with swiftness
fumigation is only successful if you aren't knotted to what you mean to destroy
take a step and it only pulls them in concentric unison along

she wanted to travel without the sticky web of familiar unwelcomes
imagined a lighter existence
i'm sorry but i have to let one of you go
after clumped years of simultaneous dependence and despise

i'm tired of choking as you wrap the tangle tighter against my throat

she could saw through but one taut stronghold at once
Fear was first in the priority of elimination
with knobbed muscly fingers it clung to her legs
shrieking and falling on its weight to add drag to its escort

but i'm your favorite
you love me best

clinging to you is not the afterbirth of love she replied
but instead indicates the slow suicide of my soul

and i want to put the knife down

i need to breathe Yes more than no
and embrace Not Afraid more tightly than you ever bound me

©2009 melissa glenn

Oy With the Me, Me, Me...

(A few people tagged me for this "25 Random Things About Me" thing going around on Facebook, and I finally had a chance to really sit down and do it. Trying to come up with a few things I haven't already said in the almost 5 years I've had this blog proved difficult. But I believe I may have come up with at least a few things you didn't already know.)

1. You could probably get me to do almost anything in exchange for a package of Archway Dutch Cocoa cookies.
2. I secretly think I'd be a kick-ass jazz lounge singer.
3. I truly, truly detest the mindless small talk that takes place among neighbors and co-workers. I like to conserve my words for people and moments that feel genuine, and I'm not a girl who feels very comfortable trying to forge a mock friendship out of nothing in common whatsoever, except for forced proximity.
4. I am really glad Greenlee is leaving All My Children. Yeah, I said it. And I don't even care that I just told you all that I DVR that bizness.
   
5. I'm pretty much non-functional before 11am. If you see me before 11am and I appear to be human-like...I AM FAKING IT. (Yes, that is me. Proving that yes, I have always been this way.)
   
6. I have a distinct memory of holding the tape recorder up to my clock radio to record "Red, Red Wine" by UB40 and sitting on the floor next to my bed rewinding it and playing it back over and over again.
7. When I was in high school, a girl and two of her guy friends blew up our mailbox in the middle of the night because she was mad that her boyfriend (my ex-sort-of-boyfriend) still liked me. Amidst my friends throughout that year, I called this fine lady The Turtle, because she had a disproportionately short neck, and therefore always appeared to be pulling her big-faced head inside her mean-ass shell. That was the only time in my life where I really openly mocked someone for an extended period of time (until Crazy Tommy Cruise and Bobblehead Giada came along, of course).
8. I am a little crazy about striped knee socks.
9. I stole a pad of sticky notes with penguins on it from JC Penny when I was in 4th or 5th grade...and I was so guilt-ridden that although I kept it hidden in my bottom desk drawer, I could not allow myself to use it. I ended up throwing it away, but not until I was in high school.
10. I have never traveled outside of North America. This makes the sweeping, romantic part of me very, very sad.
11. If I could choose one location as my ultimate once-in-a-lifetime dream vacation destination, I would choose Iceland. Second place is probably a tie between Spain and Wales.
12. Sarah McLachlan's music helped get me through some of my lowest moments in college.
13. I can barely tolerate violence and blood in movies. I'm a wincer, a hand-over-the-eyeballer, and I'm so sensitive to it that I avoid it at all costs. However, I do love the Godfather films. They're up there with my favorites - the cheeky romantic comedies and chest-clutching dramas - as different from them as they are. I simply close my eyes and cover my ears at the right moments, and Pacino & I get along just fine.
14. The texture of marshmallows disgusts me.
15. My right pinky is slightly crooked at the last joint. It is quite possible I broke it a little bit during the summer after my Junior year in college while I stayed and worked in campus housekeeping (and conferences. and the post office. and the student union.). We were cleaning those huge dorm windows when one slammed down on the wee pinky. It swelled up and turned a couple of colors for a while, but I never got it looked at. Thus...crooked pinky.
16. I have never been pulled over.
17. If I knew we could afford to live comfortably in New York City I would move there tomorrow.
18. For a period of time, I was very nearly obsessed with Civil War history.
19. When I was about 5, I decided to run away from home one day. I wrapped a few things into a red handkerchief and tied that to one of those brightly-colored canes you get from the fair (because, you know anytime someone goes on a journey in the cartoons, they put a handkerchief on a stick, right?). I got as far as the garage door before my mom questioned me as to where exactly I was going to run to, and I ended up chickening out.
20. Longevity seems to prevail at least on one side of my family. For example, my great-grandmother lived to 103. After she hit 100, she said she was quite frankly tired of it already.
    
21. After said great-grandmother died, I was able to go pick out some of her old books to take home. Not until quite a bit later (a few years) did I find things hidden inside of some of them. In her youth, she collected a lot of four-leaf clovers...it was something of a hobby for her. She often pressed them into her books...which is where I found several of them. I like the idea of them remaining in between their original pages, so those books sit carefully atop a shelf untouched.
22. I have only kissed 5 boys in my lifetime. I kind of wish I had kissed more. But I'm more than okay with the one I finished with.
23. My husband and I met in the first 2 weeks of college because my roommate and his roommate were boyfriend/girlfriend from their hometown. We met in the Dining Commons during lunch one day, and I remember he was very tall and made me laugh. We started talking on the phone at night when our roommates passed the phones to us at the end of their conversations. I told him after another couple of weeks that I really didn't want to date anyone at all until I finished my Freshman year. I said let's just be cool. Let's be friends. He said Oh, okay. ...That worked for about another week and a half. (Hmm...can you tell here that we attended a private Christian college? Oh boy...)
    
24. I have never been on a camping trip. I think I might like it, depending on the location and safety quotient.
25. Speaking of safety, I have a massive fear of large bodies of water. And heights. I would call these fears irrational, but honestly it seems pretty rational to me to be afraid of the power of gravity pulling you to your death or the giant, deep, blackness of the ocean sucking you into an abyss of tentacled monsters and OH HAI NO AIR. And please, do not even get me started on space. The mere idea of being in space could make me cry if I let my brain take that one and run with it.