*This is the first of the Vintage Sarcomical posts from the original blog. I'll occasionally be posting some of my old favorites here for your SUPER COLOSSAL ENJOYMENT. This post was originally published November 7, 2007.
Sooo.......
We went to my niece's birthday party this past weekend. This was definitely a Barbie year. She turned 5, so she is all of the sudden in desperate need of many, many dolls. And apparently, my sister and I (31 and 26 years old, respectively) and my husband (only a slightly resisting participant) needed to express ourselves through the art of Doll Manipulation. It was graceful. It was beautiful. It was moving.
It was...disgustingly hilarious.
It all started out nicely enough. Very "Just the Way You Look Tonight"-ish. Aw.
They seemed to be enjoying the festivities.
Then Barbie got a little, um, over-the-top...
...so Ken decided he needed to take it up a notch.
This is when Barbie started letting her competitive obsession take over.
After that, it was just a sad display of showboating. It was not attractive, and truthfully was a little embarrassing to watch.
Oh, the Ugliness that ensued:
She got all up in his face talking about how he never could cut his mother's apron strings and didn't know how to please a woman because he was so selfish.
...Then she passed out.
Ken then got up, feathered his hair, went home and watched Baywatch while cutting up Barbie's favorite shirts into tiny, tiny pieces.
