*feel free to use these if you ever find yourself in a similar position in the future
- I was trapped in David Blaine's clear box
- My fingers were temporarily rendered useless in a freak dryer lint trap accident
- The aliens didn't understand how much my readers needed me
- I was rearranging my Netflix queue
- That concerto wasn't going to write itself
- I was peeling a thick-skinned navel orange
- My dogs ate my keyboard
- My dogs ate my brainstorm post-its
- My dogs ate my will to get up in the morning
- I went a little whacknut trying to figure out that whole Jacob business on LOST. I mean, honestly, WHAT THE HELL.
- I was filling in for Oprah
- That "weekend" in Cabo got a little...hazy
- I couldn't think in plus-140 character concepts (thanks, Twitter)
- I was cataloging everything in the house for possible sale on Ebay
- I was an emergency alternate for I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here
- I was in an extended food coma
- I was swimming across the Atlantic
- Apple desperately needed my services in order to finish that new iPhone
But I'm back now.
