Number of bars of service on both of our cell phones: 0
Pounds of turkey prepared: 18
Number of inappropriate dinner conversations: 4
Number of "disagreements" about Sarah Palin: 2
Varieties of potatoes: 4
Number of times Grandma Bonnie has asked me where we live: 9
Number of times Grandma Bonnie has asked Mr. Sarcomical if I'm his first wife: 2
Varieties of stuffing: 2
Number of Christmas trees in this house: 8
Number of dogs in this house: 7
Number of canine scuffles resulting in broken skin: 1
Number of times I've had to turn down pistachio pudding: 5
Approximate number of hours I have spent in my cozy, cozy sweats: 10
