Sarcomical

historically nerdy

Here is the photo I've had as my laptop screen saver for the past month or so:

I love New York City, and I am a history freak. Give me a pile of old black & white photos of people I don't know or places I can fall in love with and I go all tunnel-vision until I've made my way through each story and every face. Since I was a child I could pore over old postcards, book inscriptions, photos, diaries for hours and hours. I am in love with the magic and tragedy and beauty and mystery of the past.

I found this photo going through a place of SEVERE time-suckage for me...and I risk endangering your valuable time if you suffer from the same addiction as I do, but here it is: the Library of Congress Prints & Photographs Online Catalog. Just type in any subject, and you'll get to browse through old photographs, sketches, architectural drawings, etc. endlessly. Sigh. Now you know a little bit more about how nerdy I am.

Good thing I didn't tell you about my obsession with the Civil War around ages 14-16 which involved a produced piece for the Junior High Communications tv programming and a visit with a high school teacher and two other students to the home of a collector with an entire building dedicated to his memorabilia. 

Good thing.

Friends In My Head

 

Okay, in order for me to do this I have to admit that I've seen the Wendy Willams Show and have heard her use the phrase "friends in my head". So...let's just shake off the shame of that sentence and move on, shall we?

Ahem.

Anyway...when said flamboyant talk show hostess uses the phrase "friends in my head", she's referring to a celebrity who she imagines she would be fast friends with if they only knew each other. A frivolous game, yes, but one I think a lot of us play from time to time, don't we? Okay, maybe just a few of us, but hey, I'll admit to it. Yes, I like to think I have very selective "friends in my head" criteria, and on occasion there are a few celebrity-types who pique my interest enough to begin daydreaming about us bonding at Sephora and having heavy discussions over coffee and mocking men wearing white socks and watching The Daily Show together. Absolutely, there are a few people out there who I crush on enough to imagine us being besties (ew I hate that word). Here are some of those in no particular order:

Kate Walsh
endearing characteristics:  naturally funny with a tiny twist of snark, admitted & unabashed Cat Lady, could introduce me to her colorist and maybe Taye Diggs

 

 

 

 

 

Tim Gunn
endearing characteristics:  GET IN MY POCKET YOU DARLING MAN, super encouraging, would never let me leave the house in something ugly, could get my husband into more a good jacket

 

 

 

 

Bethenny Frankel
endearing characteristics: sarcasm up the wazoo, loves dogs, not a fan of BENSIMON!, could teach me some recipes, FREE SKINNYGIRL MARGARITAS

 

 

 

 

Steve Martin
endearing characteristics:  "ALL I NEED IS THIS CHAIR...", seriously intelligent & prolific, so cute, would not go to Sephora with me but would probably put on plays in the backyard or give me pointers on comedic timing or something

 

 

 

 

Lauren Graham
endearing characteristics: quick wit, running buddy, UM...LORELAI GILMORE ENOUGH SAID

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Drew Barrymore
endearing characteristics: peace & love sweetheart, would fill my boho easy-breezy friend void, loves Beck, seems like a girl who would dig into a massive plate of nachos with me while watching black & white movies

 

 

 

 

 

So...who are some of your "friends in your head"?

asteroid? no thank you.

I'm sure that at least by now you have heard the (disturbingly? I mean HELLO) tiny mentions of the asteroid that missed sideswiping Earth by a decidedly UN-funny margin last week. I do realize that in the grand scheme of the universe, perhaps this was not as massively uncommon or unlikely as I like to pretend it is, but bear in mind that this is a girl who starts to verge into anxiety attack territory when she pauses to seriously contemplate the possibility that she could be hanging somewhat upside-down (or at least sideways) from the planet at a given moment.

Oh, yes, you read that right. I can talk myself momentarily out of my faith in gravity.

It's understandable then, no, that I might get a little twitchy when I, say, do the search to find that link up above and in the process come upon animated satellite images of the earth's tilt changing in a fashion and speed I do not find pleasant.

Also not in the cheerful tidings department, did you catch in that first CNN link how the guy indicated that "oh yeah, there are totally official-type people designated to be on top of all of that HURTLING, MONSTROUS, SPACE ARTILLERY" - lots! of people! looking years & decades ahead! - and yet he just happened upon said Not Tiny asteroid LAST WEEK???

I was not comforted by this information.

Oh, and also. Apparently we have been discovering them more and more, nearly 100 each year. (P.S. - for the love of God, do not type "asteroid 2036" into Google unless you really want to dwell on some unsavory material.)

But listen, I'm not here to be an alarmist...as nervous-handkerchief-waving as this entire entry may seem to have been. Despite my uncanny ability to get worked into a fizz over outer space, deep water, suspension bridges, and The Shining, I don't honestly live my life in fear of things. And really...I'm sure this asteroid-careening business has always been this way. We just didn't know about it. 

...aaand one more point for Ignorance!

The Animal Crossing Conspiracy

So, the impact of the new game has been felt in our home already over the weekend.

The Husband created his own character and was moved into my town. And he started doing things. Things that pissed me off. Things like stealing flowers from where I planted them, shaking all of the money out of the trees, and buying the good stuff at the store before I could even look at it. And he's bragging about how he figured out that if you pound the rock with your shovel a few times, sometimes a bunch of money flies out.

I told him he needs to move the hell out of my town. But he can't. The game won't let him. Also, it's single-player only, so we have to take turns. I don't share well.

I said today, hey, if this ends of being the beginning of the end of our marriage, just remember you're the one who brought it into our home.

...I also said I bet the terrorists invented this game.

technorati tags: NaBloPoMo

newtoynewtoynewtoygagagaah...

I should be thoroughly embarrassed by this. But I'm not. Ladies and gentlemen, Animal Crossing: City Folk. You've seen the lame commercials. The Nerd in you is SO jealous right now.

• Yes, The Husband brought this home the other day and informed me I could remove it from my Amazon Wish List (p.s.? $10 cheaper at Target this week). Whatever, you know you have something on yours that's anti-sexy, too.
• Yes, much geeked-out jumping around the kitchen island ensued. Am awesomely cool.
• Yes, that clock does say 1:30am. It was my first time playing. Shut up, hater.
• Yes, I can shake that tree and make the fruit fall out, pick it up, and put it in my pocket. Badasssss.
• Yes, I also have the ability to plant flowers & trees, go to the ATM, buy furniture, go fishing, visit annoying neighbors, change clothes, dig buried treasure, design my own clothes, and do other Pretty Much Normal but Supercool When You Do Them With a Virtual Weird Doll-Faced Thingy tasks that make me inappropriately excited. Boring shit is Teh Awesome in Plum Bay. Oh, and I TOTALLY have a shirt design called Purple Punk.
  
• Yes, I did name my city Plum Bay. JEALOUS? Plum Bay - it's the new Melrose Place. And yes, I know Melrose Place wasn't a city but OH MY GOD I should have named my city Melrose Place! DAMMIT!
• Yes, I AM hoping this doesn't end up going terribly, terribly wrong like a certain experience with The Sims long ago that scarred me for life. It's kind of disturbing hilarious.

technorati tags: NaBloPoMo, Animal Crossing, Wii