Sarcomical: Here's the Back Story...

*email me at sarcomical @ that gmail thingy.

*scroll down if you have a short attention span to see my List of Loves and Favorite Movies

i'm melissa.
i started Sarcomical in 2004. it's safe to say that (thank God) i've changed quite a bit since i began. that's why, when i gave this place a facelift here in good old April 2009, i made the decision to go ahead and click that button and delete much of the really old archives aside from a couple of recurring-series categories. (they're still alive in a secure location, but come on you weren't going to go back that far anyway, were you?). it was kind of freeing, actually.

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i can't stand close-minded people. i'm a night person. i hate the word 'mucus'. i must have some sort of depth perception issue, as i am constantly bumping into walls, desks, tables, couches, and doors when i leave and enter rooms. i also trip sometimes when walking and going up (yes, up) and down stairs. people who don't put their carts away in the parking lot annoy me. i have to take a deep breath and brace myself before going on a down escalator. i can sleep through almost anything, but i hate taking naps. feet are disgusting, i don't care who you are (unless you're under 2 years old) - don't touch me with your feet.

i love watching movies that make my heart ache, savoring melancholy and holding my solitary moments dear. but of course i also love to laugh and revel in the moment. i have an affection for I Love Lucy episodes and as a child was enamored with Bob Hope and Carol Burnett. my mother always said she found it frustrating that i'd roll on the floor laughing at their jokes but then matter-of-factly admit ignorance when asked if i had any idea what i was laughing at.

i feel things deeply. but often conveniently tuck away in the corners of my head those that trouble me until i feel up to processing them.

i currently have 3 very cute but occasionally mentally-deficient dogs and 1 arrogant cat. i also have a TALL, funny tech-geek husband of almost 11 years who can appreciate a well-placed "that's what she said" as well as make me a kick-ass breakfast. so far we have no fur-less children, but i have to say that after a long time of peace and happiness with that situation, these next couple of years could be very interesting as we begin to deal with what may be a slightly difficult road toward changing that path. we'll be okay until the time comes, but when it does, i'm pretty sure we'll rock it.

below are some of my favorite things followed by some of the movies i love and cannot be your friend if you don't agree (well i might make an exception, for YOU):

My List of Loves: (constantly and sporadically evolving)

Those big buttery soft mall pretzels (mmm...)
anything at the M•A•C counter
my Frieling French Press coffee maker (i make out with it every morning)
my camera
ladies with extreme talent
vanilla milkshakes
Vanity Fair Magazine
THE RUDD! (that's Paul to you)
The Daily Show
Early Malkovich (see: Dangerous Liaisons); he's my Pretend Wicked Genius Slightly Pervy Boyfriend
Any furry animal that won't bite me
Bonfires
slicing and dicing and making food for others to enjoy
sleepy moments on the couch with a dog next to my belly
artist-made jewelry
How I Met Your Mother
everything about New York City
WoodWick Caramel candles
Seinfeld (there's a Seinfeld episode to relate to every. single. thing. in life)
baby cactus plants (cacti?)
Magnum, P.I. (rawwrr)
CLASSIC LAYS POTATO CHIPS! (oh god save me from the salt - the bags under my eyes implore you)
DVR - what ever did I do without you?!?
laughing
At YOU (Just Kidding)
finding new music
British actors make me weak
my Mr. Coffee iced tea maker (if you try to take it i'll cut you)
people-watching
Johnny Depp - you are my precious little pet
making fun of reality show cast members
walking on sand
taking time to nourish my artist heart
Saturdays
Christmas
avocado burritos from La Bamba
lip balm
sleeping in (the bed, it is my cocoon)
twist cones from Dairy Queen
Harry Connick, Jr. (he's just as pretty in person - and I KNOW - i was THIS CLOSE to his butt, AND he hugged me)
Sting (yeah, he's kind of old, but he's still sexaay)
Lucille Ball (she's the QUEEN, and don't try to tell me any different)
curling up with coffee and a blanket
presents in tiny little boxes
ANY new restaurant (i love the pleasure of eating and trying new things)
soup (mmm, mmm, good...AND comforting)
movies (nothing bloody, PLEASE)

I think you can tell a lot about someone by what movies they like. For example, if you liked Anchorman or Starsky & Hutch I might have to seriously re-evaluate our status. ...Well? What do you think? Can we still be friends? Here are some of mine (in no particular order):